AOL Chat, all kinds of people trying to get laid
In 2000, I was a freelance photojournalist and got an assignment to write a human interest story about how dating had changed since AOL Chat had become a thing. I had to go into my local chat room, just watch what people were talking about, and try to interject myself into the conversation. I was doing this up to six hours a day, one hour in the morning, an hour at five pm, and then four or even five hours after eight pm. After about three days, my screen name became well recognized, and everyone said hi to me. There were about 25 regulars who were on every night, and I would watch them. One was a guy who was looking for a woman to come live with him for free and clean his house; he would pay her $200.00 a week for a live-in maid. One woman was talking about how her husband was always on the computer and ignoring her. After a week, I told them that I was working on an assignment for a literary agent and it was about how chat was taking over dating. This is what I wrote, "Hey, I'm a freelance photojournalist and I am working on a story about how chat rooms are changing how people meet and date. Anyone want to share some stories with me?"
Suddenly, I got a ton of replies, so many so fast that I had trouble reading them. Most were women. They all basically said, "The men here are only looking for sex, and there are a lot of slutty women on here also." A few of them responded when I asked, "What's the most direct message you got from a man?" "I was expecting to hear something along the lines of Hey baby, my place or yours?" But it was a lot more graphic. One man who was 19 sent women over 40 a message asking if they wanted to have sex with a young stud."
Another sent a message saying he needed a woman who loved sex and was under 32, no more than 5'4", and weighed less than 125, and was bi and had a girlfriend who would be willing to join in." The woman who told me this said, "If you're gonna dream, dream big."
They told me that a bunch of people would meet every Saturday night at a corner bar-type place and get together, and told me I ought to come by and check it out and put some faces behind the names. So that Saturday, I put on a blazer, some khakis, and went out to the bar. It was a small place, but the parking lot was jammed and people were parking on the streets. I walked in and people introduced themselves not by their names, but by their screen names. So instead of, "Him, I'm Sue it was "Hi, I'm KItten1125." I soon realized that this was because people recognized the names, and it was easier to talk to them. One thing was that everyone was talking to someone. There were no wallflowers in this bar, even though the crowd was from their late 20s to their late 50s. These people were, for the most part, strangers, but they all knew the chat persona, so there was no hesitation to talk. One woman asked, "Who are you, and I said, I'm Garry Owen5." She said, "Oh, you're the journalist." She told me she would point people out to me and introduce me to the most prolific chatters. I asked her, "Are there people here who are dating?" And she looked around and said, "See that couple over there, the guy with the blue shirt and the redhead?" I said, "Yeah," She told me they have been dating for two months, but they still see other people." She pointed out another couple, "They began dating last month." But the woman is still married.
She pointed out more people, including a tall brunette who came over to talk to me about the article. Her name was Dusty Rose. I gave her the rundown, and she told me, "This may seem like a chat room, but it's really just a place to meet people who want to have sex." With that, she pointed to a girl who was about 22 and said, "See her, the blonde, short hair, last week she got caught giving a guy a blowjob in the men's room." The week before, it was in her car." She pointed to a woman who was about 50, a little overweight, but with a nice smile and short hair, "She will be going home with at least two guys tonight." She pointed to a guy and his wife who were holding hands. "She loves to dance, but he doesn't. They come here, and she dances with other guys, and he just talks about sports and stuff like that. You should talk to him; he's an adjunct working on his PhD in psychology." She told me she would catch me later. I talked to more people, and they all agreed that using the chatroom was far better than any dating website. One guy told me flat out, "I've never had more sex than I have had in the past 5 months."
The next day, I logged on, and people were a lot more willing to talk to me. There was still a lot of drama, but people were talking about all kinds of stuff. I sent a private message to a few people asking about the girl Dustry Rose said was giving a blowjob in the bathroom. Just to verify it. I sent it to 4 people, and they all confirmed it; two of them said, "She wouldn't lie to you; that was her daughter." They told me to make sure I came this week because they were having a party. I asked if I could bring a camera, and everyone said, "Sure, you'll be easy to spot the married cheaters that way."
Next Saturday came, and I went out at about ten pm. When I got to the bar, it was pretty crowded, but there were still a few seats at the bar, so I sat down and ordered a bourbon on the rocks. I had a few people come and ask me about the camera. One guy said, "Wow, F3HP, haven't seen one of those in a while." I told him it was the camera I used when I was a photographer in the Navy and had taken to Bosnia to do a story about the war. I told everyone who asked that no faces would be shown in the article because my agent was not sure who would publish it. I also told people if they did want photos, for personal use, that I could shoot them, but I'd do it after I got done with the first roll of black and white, and then I would load color film. I talked to a lot of people, using a voice recorder to interview them. I asked some standard questions, Are you here to meet people? Are you looking for a date? Have you ever met anyone outside the bar?" One thing that surprised me was that about twenty-five people would get together during the week and meet at someone's house for a potluck, or a BBQ, or to watch a football game. Then I began to take photos of people taking and dancing, and people are the bar the line for the ladies room.
Suddenly, I got a ton of replies, so many so fast that I had trouble reading them. Most were women. They all basically said, "The men here are only looking for sex, and there are a lot of slutty women on here also." A few of them responded when I asked, "What's the most direct message you got from a man?" "I was expecting to hear something along the lines of Hey baby, my place or yours?" But it was a lot more graphic. One man who was 19 sent women over 40 a message asking if they wanted to have sex with a young stud."
Another sent a message saying he needed a woman who loved sex and was under 32, no more than 5'4", and weighed less than 125, and was bi and had a girlfriend who would be willing to join in." The woman who told me this said, "If you're gonna dream, dream big."
They told me that a bunch of people would meet every Saturday night at a corner bar-type place and get together, and told me I ought to come by and check it out and put some faces behind the names. So that Saturday, I put on a blazer, some khakis, and went out to the bar. It was a small place, but the parking lot was jammed and people were parking on the streets. I walked in and people introduced themselves not by their names, but by their screen names. So instead of, "Him, I'm Sue it was "Hi, I'm KItten1125." I soon realized that this was because people recognized the names, and it was easier to talk to them. One thing was that everyone was talking to someone. There were no wallflowers in this bar, even though the crowd was from their late 20s to their late 50s. These people were, for the most part, strangers, but they all knew the chat persona, so there was no hesitation to talk. One woman asked, "Who are you, and I said, I'm Garry Owen5." She said, "Oh, you're the journalist." She told me she would point people out to me and introduce me to the most prolific chatters. I asked her, "Are there people here who are dating?" And she looked around and said, "See that couple over there, the guy with the blue shirt and the redhead?" I said, "Yeah," She told me they have been dating for two months, but they still see other people." She pointed out another couple, "They began dating last month." But the woman is still married.
She pointed out more people, including a tall brunette who came over to talk to me about the article. Her name was Dusty Rose. I gave her the rundown, and she told me, "This may seem like a chat room, but it's really just a place to meet people who want to have sex." With that, she pointed to a girl who was about 22 and said, "See her, the blonde, short hair, last week she got caught giving a guy a blowjob in the men's room." The week before, it was in her car." She pointed to a woman who was about 50, a little overweight, but with a nice smile and short hair, "She will be going home with at least two guys tonight." She pointed to a guy and his wife who were holding hands. "She loves to dance, but he doesn't. They come here, and she dances with other guys, and he just talks about sports and stuff like that. You should talk to him; he's an adjunct working on his PhD in psychology." She told me she would catch me later. I talked to more people, and they all agreed that using the chatroom was far better than any dating website. One guy told me flat out, "I've never had more sex than I have had in the past 5 months."
The next day, I logged on, and people were a lot more willing to talk to me. There was still a lot of drama, but people were talking about all kinds of stuff. I sent a private message to a few people asking about the girl Dustry Rose said was giving a blowjob in the bathroom. Just to verify it. I sent it to 4 people, and they all confirmed it; two of them said, "She wouldn't lie to you; that was her daughter." They told me to make sure I came this week because they were having a party. I asked if I could bring a camera, and everyone said, "Sure, you'll be easy to spot the married cheaters that way."
Next Saturday came, and I went out at about ten pm. When I got to the bar, it was pretty crowded, but there were still a few seats at the bar, so I sat down and ordered a bourbon on the rocks. I had a few people come and ask me about the camera. One guy said, "Wow, F3HP, haven't seen one of those in a while." I told him it was the camera I used when I was a photographer in the Navy and had taken to Bosnia to do a story about the war. I told everyone who asked that no faces would be shown in the article because my agent was not sure who would publish it. I also told people if they did want photos, for personal use, that I could shoot them, but I'd do it after I got done with the first roll of black and white, and then I would load color film. I talked to a lot of people, using a voice recorder to interview them. I asked some standard questions, Are you here to meet people? Are you looking for a date? Have you ever met anyone outside the bar?" One thing that surprised me was that about twenty-five people would get together during the week and meet at someone's house for a potluck, or a BBQ, or to watch a football game. Then I began to take photos of people taking and dancing, and people are the bar the line for the ladies room.
7 months ago
