About cum eating

Hello to all. I am from Greece but I think by English is good. so..

I see a lot of cei (cum eating instructions) videos.
But only a few times lick a little of my cum. Curiosity!
The place that I am when I watch videos, doesn't got any bedroom or a sofa, its a desk.
I jerk off often so I decided to take a step forward and do it. to taste my cum.
When I supposed to do it, I avoided, ruin it, etc.
But some moments, I say that it wont be a big deal and I cum in my hand.
the next step you know what it is, but a taste only a little. because I cant "eat it".
I'm afraid, I'm stuck,Idont know.

I believe that, someone to do it, must be with another person, to push the limit.
I think that I would love to, to experience some day the part of a cum kiss,
this is the part that probably no one, can resist.

I need to find someone to guide me property, on skype even fee,
because as good as all videos can be, it cannot compare with a live person who is talking with you,
or be close to you.

thanks