My life as trans....

I was born as am man at second decembre in düsseldorf germany...with eleven years i knew that i am not a man but my coming out was 23 years later during that time i lived as in prison....i don"t know why i had oted me so late,perhaps i was frightend to not accept....my life changed very well after outing jeah i begun to live then.....the way i have gone wasn"t simply no at cntrary....two suicides showed me that the life as man didn"t go.....this year i begun to learn belly dance and i makes me a lot of fun.....
unfortunately i am not allowed to take hormones because i have a blood illness...the big operation is perhaps not go because of blood illness so prhaps i must live as shemale....